I think this post will be the start of a regular series that I’ll do on The Art of Fatherhood.  Hopefully it’ll be helpful for single mom’s too.  Fatherhood is truly a realm unto itself.  However you got the news: “I’m Late”, “We’re Going To Be Parents”, ” My Daddy Is Gonna Kill You” or “Meet Junior” one thing is for sure.  When you become a daddy you enter an arena that isn’t like anything else in life.

Now to be honest there really is nothing to fear.  Sure there are no instructions to help you make the “right” choices  and heavy penalties if you make the “wrong” choices.  But everyone is learning On The Job.  And this an art not a science.  I don’t know about you but when I first heard those words “You’re going to be a daddy” I felt like I had been prepared for the moment.

The same fears & questions ran through my mind as probably every other man.  Can we afford this?  Now we have to buy a house?  Will it be a boy or as girl? Are you ready to be a father? Is she ready to be a mother? Are weready to be parents?  I’m sure a whole lot of other questions that don’t even matter now came up as well.

The mental chatter that comes with being a father is non-stop.  If you’re not questioning & re-evaluating yourself in your role as a father you’re missing the forest for the trees.  Notice I didn’t say doubt yourself though.  Trust in the Most High  and know that as long as you have a desire to do the best you can you will be making the right choices and He will handle the rest .

I learn and take plenty of queues from  other fathers.  Sometimes I learn things I can incorporate into my relationship with my children and sometimes I get a clear view of a quality I need to eliminate from the equation.  Make conversations with fathers about fatherhood a norm.  If you have wisdom to share then share it.  If there are things you need to learn then each one can teach one.

I think of all the skills a father should possess two of the most important are the wisdom to say what needs to be said the right way and the ability to diffuse a conflict quickly. More on this at another time.

What do you think?