I’m one of those people who learn best by experience.  Or at least I was that way in my younger days.  Now I know the value of good advice and conceptual learning.  My grandmother used to say “A hard head makes a soft behind”.  I guess I’m officially old because I find myself saying it too.

I’ve been married twice and I hope &pray that this 2nd time is the last time.  I continue to learn some lessons the hard way but because I hope to spare some courting couple a little  pain and headache I’ll share some of the things I WISH somebody would have told me before I got married.

Get Your Financial Game Plan Together –

Once you get married money that was yours (by yourself) somehow is supposed to become yours (as a couple) and its supposed to work like a well oiled engine.  Put your money philosophy on the table up front and any place where you draw a blank or things don’t match up is an area where you need to have a financial meet & greet.  This is critical and my good friend Dr. Taffy Wagner is an expert at this.

Make Romance Your Style -

Romance is not something you do.  Its a way of being.  It doesn’t kick in when you are trying to get your way or trying promote your agenda.  Its about creating a pleasant atmosphere that is enjoyable to you AND your soulmate.  The time for this is morning noon and night.  I’m sure you would like to see him/her smile more than frown so find ways to make that happen daily.  There are loads of intense conversations that any couple is bound to have and the right atmosphere is an essential ingredient in keeping things pleasant.  Mary Chatman over at Love Life Designs was a big help in getting me to see this.

Whatever Level Of Patience or Tolerance You Think You have Is Still Not Enough –

This one occurred to me as an epiphany just a few days ago so take it seriously whether you’re getting married or not.  You will be tested to the limits of your patience which go far beyond where you think your limits are.  Mark my words.  As human history has progressed to this point we’ve become  infatuated with instant gratification.  Prepare & Condition yourself for the wait.  If you have a wife you will find that somehow it just takes longer for things you really want to occur.  One day we’ll learn why.  Until then be patient. 

Know Your Purpose For Being -

Rodney Dangerfield used to have a joke about how he should have known it wasn’t going to work out between he and his ex-wife.  He was a water sign and she was an earth sign.  Together they made mud.  LOL  There are some things that you should know about yourself before you go mixing your volatile chemistry with someone else’s.  Hammers & screws don’t work well together.  Know thyself.

There are lots more that I’ll continue in later posts.  But tell me what you wish somebody would tell you before you get married.