Sometimes the conversations about what men do or have done make me hang my head in shame.  Especially to women & our children.  My father in law says: “If you knew who you really are you wouldn’t do some of the things you do.”   I think its time to raise the bar on what it means to be  a man.  Here are a few thoughts that came to mind.

Authenticity -  This translates in my mind as being genuinely open, honest & transparent in all situations.  Sometimes the natural tendency is to hide part of the story or some part of yourself from plain view but when you realize that there is no thing and no one to fear then you are free to just be yourself.  Practice Radical Honesty.  Never have anything to hide & you’ll never have anything to regret. (There’s a HighRoadism for ya)

Integrity – Integrity is often misinterpreted as some kind of moral code of good or bad.  Here I mean consistent wholeness or oneness between you, your words and your actions.  If you say you’re going to do something do it.  If you’re not going to do it don’t say you will.  That way you can say what you mean & mean what you say.  Be who you say you are & live up to your own word.

Mentorship – If you can get something good out of this life for you & your family that is alright.  But the new standard of manhood is about being more than self serving.  Teach, train and help someone else (preferably a young man outside your relatives) get some good out of this life as well.  Many problems in our relationships, homes & communities stem from men not having the knowledge and not exercising the wisdom to shape the environment.

Brotherhood – Understand that when you see another man you are seeing a reflection of yourself.  You deserve respect so give respect.  You don’t necessarily want walking past in fear of you so don’t fear another man.  Make eye contact & give a salutation when you walk by.  They say steel sharpens steel.  You can’t be sharp with dull men around you & the men around you can’t be sharp until you are.  Lets look out for one another
Fatherhood – There are plenty of men who didn’t have a good experience with their father while growing up.  That means some very valuable lessons were never conveyed from one generation to the next.  This results in us making it up as we go along.   And in many cases learning life lessons the hard way with regrets later on.  Make a conscious effort to show your children more of what is enjoyable about their father.  In addition to sharing wisdom, giving guidance, instructing, providing  for and disciplining them help them to feel that their dad is better than all the rest.

Showcasing these qualities is one way to raise the bar and set a new standard of manhood.  This is what I plan to live up to in 2010.  If you see me slipping make sure to pull my coattail & let me know.

Can you think of any other qualities that are essential to becoming a better man?