The subject of “cheating” seems to be on everyone’s lips (or fingertips) nowadays.  I try to not join any conversations about negativity unless I was going talk about solutions.  This is one of those tough conversations that people need to have if humanity is going to evolve and progress.  So here is my take on: Why people cheat? How can you eliminate the need or at least the desire to cheat? And last but not least. What does it take for a relationship to survive & bounce back from cheating?  Remember even though I’m sitting here on the High Road this is just my opinion.

In order to understand the problem you’ve got to understand the cause. The real reason has nothing to do with what the person is or isn’t getting at home or what appears to be missing…those are the excuses people use to justify sneaking to do what they do.  Everyone knows its not the “right” thing to do or else they wouldn’t try to hide it from their spouse. Which is why they try to justify.

There is a certain underdeveloped mentality about relationships that makes men and women alike think that they can seek emotional, psychological or physical comfort and satisfaction from anywhere they feel like they can get it.  “Feelings are not rational thoughts.  They can fool you if they are not followed by wisdom.” (HighRoadism)

Relationship is a process of lacing or binding two souls together in oneness on a continual basis.  Usually at the start there is, or should be, an expressed declaration and understanding about what’s allowed & what’s not allowed.  So no assumptions are made & no loopholes exist.  How often does that happen in what we call relationships today?  Did you have a discussion about infidelity while you were in the dating phase?

Seems like you wouldn’t have to talk about this up front but “If you don’t take the time to get to know what’s in the other person’s mind you can’t tell where they’re headed or what they are going to take you through.”  (Wow.  Two HighRoadisms in one post)  People who don’t have a desire to master urges & appetites within themselves aren’t ready for a relationship with someone else in the first place.

So to make the long story short people cheat because: they allow the urge for pleasure, comfort & satisfaction to overrule their thoughts about their relationship with their spouse or significant other.   They lie and hide it because they assume they’ll be judged & made to feel shame or guilt for what they were feeling all along but never expressed.

I’ve reached the limit of my attention span for the moment so I’ll get to the solution to in the next post.

What do you think so far?